“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.”– Leonardo da Vinci
First thing I have to make clear is that I am not going to use cat stories as a way of getting more eyeballs and reactions to my stories. God knows, it’s almost like I have gone out of my way not to be read.
Since starting my book to my grandson back in 2011, I have written from my mind and heart, the only true measurement I will ever give a shit about, certainly not about readership first. However, don’t get me wrong, I love being read. Anybody, who makes his/her writing public, wants to be read, or just keep a diary under your pillow. I have no smart ass comments about those who choose to do that either. Whatever works for you.
I don’t know if there will ever be another story about Shelby, but this one is important in our relationship. I am beginning this at the start of this week and it will be obvious why, as we go along. I like the idea that some of what I am writing about hasn’t happened yet, so we both get to share it as it unfolds.
This past Sunday, she officially got her cat license, being neutered and chipped and vaccinated. This piece is being written on the following day, while I have the time and inclination to begin this tale of Shelby Meets the Outside World.
When she got home from the Vet, she was a massive pain in the ass. I know she was so thrilled to be away from the experience and back home with what’s his name. She was biting my feet and following me everywhere I went. I am trying to be smarter than she is, knowing it is a losing proposition.
So, here’s the deal. She is staying in today and tomorrow. So, Wednesday morning, the front screen door will be left ajar. I discovered on her very first day here, pushing open the screen door and going out was a given in her mind. Of course, not to be outsmarted, the side screen door has several concrete blocks, making it impenetrable from the interior. The front door has remained closed and whenever I have gone out, I make sure this little bandit has not slipped out.
Stay tuned for Shelby Meets the Outside World on Wednesday.
OK, it is Wednesday morning and Shelby has been sprung from solitary. I pretty much just let her out. Frankly, I have no idea if she will return. Food and water and litter box are on the lanai. Maybe, a kind of parental equivalent is letting your child out of your overbearing sight for the first time, waiting to hear something come crashing down, accompanied by screams of unbearable pain. Yes, it is an exaggeration, but I am just trying to make a point.
I also think it is funny. After all the things I have been through in my life, this is a day filled with concern over a six month old kitten and whether she will return to her home, yes, her home. I have managed to hone my life down to a pretty simple existence. We spend so much of our lives accumulating, being busy and worrying about a full course menu of possibilities.
I speak from experience, as opposed to being some kind of bullshit artist with a lousy imagination. I always felt like I was wearing a cheap suit that didn’t fit, surrounded by folks with a closetful of all the requisite accoutrements one needed to avoid falling off the tight rope with no net. I am not sure when I looked down for the first time and felt my balance was in serious jeopardy. I was living a life of perpetual discomfort, digging a hole deeper and deeper, until I couldn’t see over it.
I never thought I was better than everyone else, nor the opposite, neither one a part of my choices. I think you can simply feel different. Ask any teenager how they feel? The whole idea of belonging becomes very potent as you punch through your teens. So many choices are based on what others may think and if you’re not careful, you are saddled with a life of expectations.
Oh shit, I have to stop immediately. Shelby has just come into the house, after having been away for at least 45 minutes, a fucken miracle. As soon as I turned away, getting back to my screen, she was gone again. So, I took my eyes off her and let her go play in her room and nothing awful happened.
Now, I can get back to my pretentious study in erudition. Where was I?The idea of almost tapping 80 and having the most important thing at the moment, being whether my six month old kitten will graduate to being an indoor/outdoor feline is very cool. At the same time, knowing I have officially become a writer means I could care less about wearing a cheap suit. What I have to say is who I am.
In the midst of my kitten confessions, I wouldn’t be who I am, where I am at this moment, without two people. First, is my grandson. He is why I write and our relationship has blossomed in harmony with his growing up, a concept I have told him never stops. We have graduated to a place, where I communicate with him, not to him. When I started my world famous book to him, it was my insurance policy that no matter where I am, I will always be with him. We freakin’ made it and I am still here, worrying about my kitten.
I have been with a lady, I could have never have invented, because she is beyond my history, living in a timeless place in my heart. I am infinitely grateful to those two people, eternally lucky for the privilege to have them in my life.
We learn lessons throughout our lives, at least that is my hope for all of you. I have learned there is no separation between the heart and the mind. What you think is how you feel. How you feel is what you think. Over time, my preference is clearly on the feeling side. It is good to make the heart a little hard of hearing, because the mind is easily tainted by the cheap suit syndrome and can’t always be trusted.
I think we are just short one, kitten paragraph about this matter, a testament to feelings of security regarding this brand new arrangement. This story is going to have a happy ending, but we need another day, before chiseling it in stone to make it official, a religious experience, over peppered with literary, kitty license.
Well, “It is one small step for cat kind, one giant leap for her feline attendant.” I am sure you have been sitting on pins and needles, worrying whether Shelby would become a runaway, having her face and $1,000 reward posted all over Lihue. Although, each time she goes out the door, I still worry over whether she’ll return, she has done so countless times over the past two days. At the moment, she will be housebound overnight and I am not likely to change that, at least for some time.
So, it is back to just living my life and trying not make a fool of myself, not taking my persona too seriously. I understand it is a paper, thin mirage. Hopefully, the passage of time teaches us to loosen our grip, especially if we want to enjoy the ride.
As per usual, I have jumped around. You show me a single track mind and I will show you a one-dimensional pancake, short on grey matter batter. If I wrote a story only about a kitten, it would need illustrations and large print. There are probably a hundred of them already. Of course, mine would have a happy ending.
Shelby and I thank you for bearing with us this week.
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https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1292459/episodes/16458250-cat-man-do