“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” Winnie The Pooh
I take great personal joy in going in directions where I have little or no company. I also think contradicting myself from time to time is a healthy sign. Of course, like anything in life, it is a matter of degree.
A couple of stories ago, I wrote about awareness and how important it is for us to know who we are, where we are and what is going on at the time. It started with me sitting at the end of the Waimea pier and staring out at the blurred image of Ni’ihau, off in the distance. I went into myself and started thinking how much it matters to be cognizant in the moment.
I am not changing my mind about my mind, not for one second. Zen texts, old and new, are filled with lessons on how to be present, indistinguishable from everything going on around you.
A couple of mornings ago, I had an epiphany. I had absolutely nothing on my mind and it was great. I was going about my morning routine and it was taking forever and I loved it. The only thought I had is that there must be a story somewhere in there. How about being exactly where you are and not giving a shit?
I have spent a lifetime married to the clock. One minute anchored to the next, all my thoughts and actions swallowed that hook a long time ago. In the beginning, we live in a maze, not even thinking about the cheese, just whether to go left or right or straight or backward.
Trust me, the above was written without a gram of judgment, because I was a maze man for many, many years. Somewhere, in loosely defined, middle age, some of us start thinking about being shackled to life, rather than living it. It hit me in my early forties. I had spent the prior ten years in therapy, which pretty much tells you how you got to be where you are, but the future is your problem, at least that was my experience. You get your life license, hands on the wheel, but no fucken map forward.
OK, if you’re lucky, the walls of the maze fall down around you and there is no fucken cheese to be found anywhere. I know I have written a million times about me and the Buddha. I really don’t want any of you to think I am a Jehovah’s Witness type, knocking on your mental door with all the answers. His ideas about our own impermanence and the myths about all those things we construct to deny it, was just sitting there and waiting for me to come along. It resonated with me exactly where I was at the time and has stayed with me since.
When you get into that zone, everything is about becoming more sensitive about your life and your relationship to the world around you. My whole middle has been about it. It’s a motor you never turn off and a road you always stay on. So, is that it? Now, there is a really good question. It’s about always looking for more out of your life. It is a race that never stops and it is also a race you never win. There is no magic in the destination, it is how you traverse your life landscape before you get there.
Happily, I now have moments where nothing at all is going on. I take short vacations into vacancy. I got nothing on my mind, no place to go and no one to be, just being wherever I am and that’s it. I am going to clock 80 this coming May and that’s a pretty long time to be around. Listen, I am in absolutely no hurry to leave and frankly, there are times when just the act of hurrying gets on my nerves.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not looking to run for president of The Zombie Club. However, years and years of thinking gets to be exhausting. I am not sure I’ve ever heard anyone advocate for not thinking. I also don’t want to leave feelings out of this either. I guess you could argue that you have to think about feelings in order to have them, but I am not so sure about that. Maybe our biggest problem as humans is not being aware of our feelings. I am not sure that thinking and awareness are the same thing, but they are at least cousins.
So, when I talk about it, I am talking about just taking a break from everything. It doesn’t last a long time and it is not like something you know you are in until you come out of it. It is like a total, energetic relaxation, like an extended exhale, where nothing happens.
Don’t bother trying it, because there lies the inherent contradiction. It is just something that happens and you don’t know it, until you leave it by thinking about it, through the magic of hindsight. It is a gorgeous vacuum, all too often thought of as a luxury you can’t afford.
At my age, it is on sale and not only that, you can “try it, before you buy it”. Of course, I am speaking in the figurative sense. I was just thinking, yes, thinking, I could write a book about all this and become an influencer. I would call it, “How To Do Nothing”, kind of like selling the pet rock, which made a fortune.
Now, my dilemma is wanting you to read this story, when I really should be saying, “Don’t waste your time and do nothing instead” Here is a great compromise. “Read this story and don’t think about it. Do nothing instead.”
I like that and didn’t even think about it.
LISTEN TO IT HERE:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1292459/episodes/16346818-doin-nothin