“Everything is changeable, everything appears and disappears; there is no blissful peace until one passes beyond the agony of life and death.” — Buddha
Well, I have a bit of a problem and it is a good one. My last story, celebrating my birthday, was very well received. I was kind of shocked, having grown accustomed to a handful of emoji’s and comments. On top of that, a good number appeared on my timeline, wishing me happy birthday. I have no idea about Facebook protocols, but it seemed only right to respond to everyone, who took the time to communicate with me.
I immediately started thinking to myself, “What the fuck can I do for my next story?” “How can I top this one?”Even though I have already begun, I don’t know where it is going to take us. One of the many things that happens with age, at least to me, my ego has been shrinking, along with the rest of me. I am sincerely flattered by the attention, which means doing more of the same. I can’t get any better at it, because this is the best I can do. I am not talking about my writing skills, which suck. For me, honestly sharing where I am at is what I do.
Having clocked 80 a couple of days ago is still very much with me. It is hard to ignore the passage of time, especially when so much has already passed. Procrastination feels increasingly ridiculous up here. Some stuff has been put off, because I didn’t want to deal with it. Emotional baggage gets increasingly heavy and less important at the same time. If you’re smart, you get more selective about what you want to deal with. Life is a race you don’t win or lose, it is a draw.
In the midst of writing this, a couple of things popped up that really fit right in to where we are in the above paragraph. The first is from the folks at the Pew Research Center about the number of people, who pray on a daily basis. More than half of those surveyed over 65 pray each day, with nearly 1/3 under 30 doing the same.
Before getting to the second thing, I thought about trying to reach these people, based on what they are praying about. This goes back to my wondering what political message will work to try and bring at least some of the country back together again, a common language. The vectors of our political system are ass backwards. Government tells us what to do, rather than doing what we want it to do. Imagine if elected officials asked their constituents what they would like to see from government? Instead, they all march to their respective party’s jungle drums.
Right on cue, the Buddha entered my consciousness and rounded out the reason behind looking outside ourselves for answers to the big questions. He really worked his ass off to deal with The Big Three. Even on a good day, Old Age, Suffering and Death are an irrefutable part of life. Gracefully embracing this truth is a kind of special liberation. Ignoring or denying it, metastasizes into our incredible mistreatment of ourselves and others and our planet.
I think the Big Three and religion are connected and prayer is right in the middle of this muddle. I believe in the existence of an invisible world, one which defies our earthbound perspective. There is magic all around us, endless mysteries that we will never be able to explain, let alone understand. However, relying on outside forces to right our world is a misdirection of the ultimate responsibility, which sits within each of us. Religions compete with each other, causing endless suffering and wars.
I think there’s a difference between spirituality and religiosity, although I could be a minority of one. Believing in powers beyond yourself is not automatically God worship, not even close. In Zen, the idea of the continuity of energy, predating our birth and passing beyond us when we depart is not religion. Eventually, there might even be a scientific explanation for it. This is at the root of coming to terms with the Big Three. I am working on it and I hope I get there in time. Religion is like building a structure on the invisible land of spirituality, one that is in constant need of repair, justifying its supremacy over all others.
What I am really talking about is the intimate and intricate relationship between thoughts and feelings, coming together in the metaphorical heart. The need for certainty in a world of uncertainty is a forever dance. I think the circle of life is one where how we think and what we feel are continually trading places, ultimately becoming indistinguishable, one from the other.
Awareness is the ticket, not the answer, just the ticket. For me, sitting on the cushion makes me an easy target for whatever is going on in my life circle. It has nothing to do with being right, whatever the fuck that means. I am not the first jerk to come up with this either. Everything we say and do starts from inside and the more we can appreciate that, the better off we are, not only for ourselves, but for others as well.
I know, just when you thought I was disappearing on some tangent, I want to bring it back home. I began this story feeling incredibly grateful for the attention my birthday missive received. I was very surprised and then started thinking about whether I’d be affected by it. Don’t get me wrong, I love compliments and will never grow tired of them. However, at my age, it just makes me recommit to doing whatever got me to this chronological milestone, a lodestone to keep on keepin’ on.
I can’t help vacillating between my own life and this world we live in. I know they are not separate, at least not to me. When I read about the statistics relating to daily prayer, it caught my attention. When I think about the kind of world I want, I wonder how the prayers of others mirror my feelings. While there is strategic advantage in division, feeding off conflict, the greatest strength is in unity. So, I took off on a tangent with that one.
Not leaving well enough alone, I riffed on the prayer thing, which often involves religion. It is funny, we turn to religion for answers, looking outside ourselves. You would think that THE GOD ought to be about love and unity, not the tragic consequences of pitting one god and against another.
Whenever I get off on these issues, the Buddha can never be far behind. I think the Big Three and the dance of denial we do around it have caused cultures to create God placebos to mask the truth and our coming to terms with it. However, Zen is not a science. It embodies a kind of faith in how things truly are and finding ways to embrace it.
I like the word spirituality, a cousin of rationality. The more you look for answers, the closer you get to a silent knowing of forces far greater than ourselves, forever elusive. The mess we are in, whether deeply personal or the state of national politics, is a reflection of our timeless refusal to appreciate what it is to be alive.
This story is all your fault, caused by the heart warming responses I received for my birthday chronicle. I guess I kind of took flight on this follow up, but you have yourselves to blame.
LISTEN TO IT HERE:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1292459/episodes/17289738-now-what