“People often ask me if I’m ‘passing the torch’. I’m keeping my torch, thank you very much and I’m using it to light the torches of others.” 

Gloria Steinem 1934-2026

I am beginning this story on Monday, September 7th, as Lowell begins making its presence felt on Kauai. I have been sitting here on my ass and worrying, a specialty of mine that I wish I wasn’t so good at. Then, it magically dawned on me that when I write, I can put it on the page and lift it off my chest, where it loves to reside.

My last story was very difficult for me, saying goodbye to my son and hello to his memory. It took a couple of weeks to put together. It was just me and the page. After finishing, there was a sense of relief, because it was important for me to do. I want to thank those of who’ve  read it from the bottom of my heart. If I wrote for myself, I’d keep a diary under my pillow. I try and write for anyone, who happens to stumble on one of my stories. I wish we could all understand we have so much in common, a transcendent kind of grace ignored by most everyone.

Yesterday morning, I posted my letter to Danny, my son. I printed out the letter. I crumpled it up. I set it down in a ceramic dish outside and set it on fire. I watched as the pre-Lowell winds took the grey smoke up toward the sky, like spreading the ashes of a loved one. This is how you mail a letter to someone, who has left this land for an address in the sky.

So, there I was, feeling very vulnerable with no place to lay it to rest. If I was a reader, that would have been the time to whip out a book and thumb to the dog-eared page, where I left off. Only being semi-literate, I went to see what was streaming through baby Hal.  Amongst the deluge of images, I spotted an interview with Gloria Steinem. I remember reading she had died a handful of days before. I was feeling the hurt from writing my letter and tired inside. Watching Steinem felt like this wave of contagious compassion. It became my next story and I was happy to move the writer away from the letter, while the father can’t ever let it go.

The interview with her was done a handful of days before she died. The deal was it wouldn’t air until after she had passed. The setting was very stark, with no distractions. It was the interviewer and her, even the cameras were automated. There were two chairs on a circular platform and that’s it. In the handful of minutes before I sat down to watch, I started to think about Gloria Steinem and what an incredible person she was. I will weave those thoughts into this story. 

At 92, she walked with a cane and there was no hiding the years. I tell you, once she sat down and the camera looked her right in the face, there she was, with her aviator glasses and a smile! What an articulate and self-effacing lady. Unlike so many people in the adoring eye of the public, she never stopped being Gloria Steinem, on a life long mission to promote equality amongst us all.

There are few things Gloria said that I want to get back to, but first a message from Lowell. I started this story this past Monday, 9/7. I wrote down most of the above, before the shit hit the fan. For those of us living here, what transpired is quietly personal. It touched every one of us. The pain and loss for some is simply unquantifiable. My heart goes out to all of you and my tears will help it flow to you. I have no intention of making a story out of it. It is something sacred and deep, deep inside all of us and my words can’t possibly touch it.

 I had to mention Lowell, otherwise it wouldn’t be me and how I communicate to you. I do want to get back to Gloria, because I was touched by her presence and what she shared. She talked about hope being necessary for any movement to survive. I immediately thought about the epidemic of hopelessness in our country, feeling powerless to stop this juggernaut of selfishness and bigotry. Are we really gonna get swallowed by this whale of greed and hatred? Listen, I am no fucken Pollyanna, but we just have to be better than this. 

You and I don’t seem to learn lessons from our past, nor does America. What went down in this country right before WW I and during it, is exactly what is happening right now. I mean the parallels are uncanny, yet it still feels like science fiction today. We came back from that time and ultimately the New Deal was born. This thing we are in now will end by devouring itself. This is my belief and my hope. Of course, as I write this, I know it is no consolation for the hell we are now living through. 

I am thinking about Gloria and Dolly, two of the strongest people to ever grace our lives. Dolly’s magic was visceral,  while Gloria was more cerebral. I believe it is a mischaracterization, because they were both and that is what struck me about these ladies. I confess to being a little bummed that Ms. Steinem’s passing didn’t get nearly the attention that Ms. Parton received and is still receiving. Speaking of Ms, it was a huge step in the direction of viewing women equally as empowered as their cave dwelling brethren. In fact, Gloria’s Ms. Magazine awarded Dolly Parton Woman of the year in 1987. She said, “If feminism means each of us finding our unique power and helping other women do the same, Dolly Parton has certainly done both.”

New York City was home to Gloria Steinem for years. There is no greater city in all of America that rivals my city, my home for the first 40+ years of my life. 25 years ago, my friend, Michael, called me and told me to turn on the television, because the Twin Towers had been hit by a plane. I watched as the second one hit the other tower. I had been living in Santa Fe, NM, after having left THE CITY. I love that place, always have, always will. These days, when anyone asks me if I am from NYC, because of my accent, my chest swells and I am filled with pride and love. I smile and answer, “Yes”.

I believe the world stood still on September 11, 2001. It was a pivotal moment for all mankind. Maybe, if Ms. Steinem was President, she would have said this is a time to put an end to violence between nations. Yes, we could have turned the other cheek in that special moment, but we did not. It was quite the opposite, reinforcing violence as the only way to right the perceived wrongs of our world. Look no further than Gaza and the darkness of evil perpetrated by a people, who learned nothing from the gas chambers of Auschwitz. 

In our own country, we have also learned nothing from our own history, refusing to break the strangle hold of “Greed, Hatred and Ignorance”, one of the Four Vows in the Buddhist tradition. America is now the enemy, regurgitating the same hatred that crushed the Twin Towers.

I think it is bullshit to be sad about the loss of Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem. How about celebrating these two, otherworldly beings, who came here to teach us?

When will we ever learn?

LISTEN TO IT HERE:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1292459/episodes/19792358-gloria-and-dolly-and-lowell-and-9-11