”History repeats itself. That’s one of the things wrong with history.” Clarence Darrow
Unlike the last story, I might stay with this one from beginning to end. We’ll both have to see how it goes, because I have no idea from this blurry vantage point. The last few days, I have splashed down unrelated thoughts on a page. I figured I’d scramble a word omelette for you guys. I started by typing out some disparate thoughts and began furiously adding ideas, sometimes writing them on a typed out page or retyping the whole thing. It was actually starting to feel a bit manic, seriously manic and time to wrestle it all to the screen.
I believe history is an esoteric kind of concept, rather cold, while our behavior is not. Whether you take the long view or the short one, it is the same landscape. It is a convergence of big and small. Each one of us is part of the past, present and future, like it or not. This is where I can get into kind of trouble. I want to be crystal clear, where we are right at this moment truly sucks. My personal difficulty in dealing with it has been a thousand-pound, cinder block, crushing my chest.
One difference between our looming demise and all prior ones is that today is way more complicated than it ever has been.There are so many more moving parts than ever before. However, one thing shared for millennia is our malignant ego. There is no vaccine for self-awareness, just hard fucken work and it is a basic flaw of us Homo Sapiens.
As much as we hate Trump, he is a symptom and not the cause. He is just the perfect tool for the power elite to make sure their wealth can grow like a cancer on the soul of America. I really don’t think it is any consolation to hear that we are a symptom of the time tested truth regarding all failed empires. In spite of the fact that Herr Trump Uber Alles is totally fucken real, he is a paltry piece in a much larger, ugly puzzle. The playbook is written in stone, just like the ones clutched by Charlton Heston. All decaying empires have the same smell, a lethal social disease. However, experiencing it is no consolation.
Mel Brooks would have gotten an Oscar if he created a fictionalized scenario of our shit show. Tragically it is very real. It would put his Young Frankenstein to shame. “Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life” is really no mystery at all. Sadly, we are the culprits. Now, don’t bust my chops over this. I swear to God I am not finger pointing. At the same time, people create patterns.
I have had an extraordinary load of pain in the past year or so. Honestly, I am not sure when some of my patterns became an invisible python choking me unmercifully. I know I have written about it in the last few stories and I am not going to travel down that word road right now. I am not sure if the answer is change or compassionate self-acceptance. In my case, it has certainly been a combination of both. I know it is possible for you and I, but it has never worked for any dominant culture before this one………
It is now the day after. I confess to writing the above in about one hour, because I had those copious Cliff Notes. In spite of the speed, I had to stop. When I began writing my memoir around 15 years ago, I would always stop when it began to feel like work. In spite of the notes, I do thrive on the spontaneity of writing. Plus, if I let the the story cure, I can come back to it, like we never met before.
I feel free to write anyway I want. The absence of money is the presence of true freedom. In that spirit, I have to confess, I always write with music in the background. My taste is monumentally eclectic, with Pavarotti, Thelonious Monk and Kendrick Lamar keeping company. Music was completely integrated into my life story for my grandson. Back then, writing everyday, music was a constant companion and still is right now. In fairness to all music everywhere and forever, it has been my constant co-writer.
OK, I want to come back to our country and our President. Irrevocable damage is being done both here and globally to every single, sentient being, whether human, animal, tree, plant or insect. Science is continually discovering the extraordinary lives of trees and ants and it is unbelievable. The only exemption from all this are the uber wealthy, mostly white men, regardless of country.
Calculating the stupidity of people who know better is nauseating. In spite of being a tool, Trump is an evil son of a bitch, aided and abetted by some presumably, intelligent people. They are all lying sacks of shit. Remember, at the same time history predicted him, it can never justify him.
The fucken Proud Boys were just exonerated for their rape of this country’s only legacy, the possibility of a true, just freedom and defending the rights of those without.
My memory of things past often takes a holiday, a different story than what I will always hold true, our basic humanity. It will never be compromised. I don’t consider myself a pessimist, just a realist. One last thing, if you don’t mind. My words are my legacy. It’s all I got.
Thank you so much for reading.
Blessings.
LISTEN TO IT HERE:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1292459/episodes/19479841-history-repeats-itself-because-we-do